Readying his coat, reapplying his orange spray tan at the last second, our conquering hero enters onto the stage followed closely behind by his vice president into congress surrounded by his subordinates.
Trump: [Briefly casting a glance at the room full of people kneeling before him to his authority]
Every single one of you is a liar!
Pence: [Smiling uncomfortably, he begins to nod his head furiously in approval]
The entire congress, pantomiming severe distress, begin to sob uncontrollably and run from the stage in fake exaggerated tears
Pence: Excellent work sir!
Democracy at its finest! That will show the people that it is only you they can trust!
A dictator you will never be! Your rule is just!
Trump: Remember that when you open your heart to patriotism
There is no room for prejudice!
And look at me, a man with no vice!
I am always right!
This is why Pence, you of all people see the light!
We will make America great again!
And I will prove above all lesser men!
After abolishing congress the wise president looks at the line of citizens before him from atop his new throne
Citizen 1: Sir we can’t breathe, there is too much smog in the air!
It is far too much for us to bear!
Trump: I don’t believe in global warming. You are a liar!
Big oil is more than fair!
Begone citizen and serve in the coal mines or you will feel most dire!
Citizen 2: Lord please! Our workers toil and tire, please spare your ire!
Mexico still refuses to pay for the wall and they have set it on fire!
Trump: Fear not whelp for they will pay I swear!
To disobey me they would never dare!
Citizen 3: Sir allow me to stay to feed my family! I fear they may starve!
I was born here and only want peace and a better life!
Do not torture me under the knife!
Trump: You are no citizen of mine!
Return beyond the wall or your daughters will be mine!
Much like Obama you are just a foreigner to scare!
Citizen 4: Lord how just and right you are!
Please provision my army to fight our war!
Forget the schoolchildren you eminently abhor!
Our bullets will continue to soar!
Trump: Education does not need aid!
Continue to raid!
Noble Emperor Trump stands proudly atop the wall, lording over the world leaders he has defeated, planting the flag over the Mexican President.
Mex. Pres: We will never pay!
All my people you will have to slay!
Trump : Much like Rocket Man wanted to say!
This refusal will lead to your last living day!
Rockets fire away!
Pence : [On his knees] Yes Mr. President, tell him how you will have your way!
Mex. Pres: [In death throes] Oh noble president, twas an honor to be cut down
By one so honorable
I praise thy name!
Never feel any shame!
Go forth, and save the day!
Review: This is a parody of John Dryden’s The indian Emperour using a more contemporary controversial figure to similar effect. Instead of Cortez, a man responsible for the destruction of the Aztec empire, Trump is used as a replacing figure for both his privileged use of power and oppression towards what is also now modern Mexico. The absurdist elements that were present in the original are changed in favor of a more easily relatable and immediately relevant approach, but the overall level of exaggerated absurdity is maintained in order to elicit a strong empathetic response from the audience. The parody serves to illustrate the propaganda effectivity of The Indian Emperour more directly via direct quotations from the current president. Similarly historical accuracy is completely foregone in favor of more flashy and emotionally evocative drama which is immediately superficial in nature. Due to brevity, the cast of characters was made more concise to directly emphasize the one-dimensionality that is President Trump. He is presented a strong and just ruler by surrounding characters much as Cortez was. The president of Mexico is used as a substitute for Montezuma to reassert this effect. Much like Dryden’s version, this play critiques government administration by implying it’s numerous shortcomings as opposed to directly stating them. Despite making numerous claims that are correlated with atrocities, Trump continually gains approval and respect from even his most confrontational opposition in order to facilitate critique of his policies through a masque of nobility, similarly to how Cortez was well respected by Montezuma, who thought him fiercely. At fundamental levels, both versions maintained fairly consistent rhyme schemes and this helps to facilitate the level of faux gravitas the characters present. They are treated as Shakespearean even in the most nonsensical of scenarios to draw the reader’s attention and deliver the many present themes.