So I was chillin’ with my shorty right, it was the summer of 1997. Everything was aiiight, we were hanging out in Yosemite, camping next to some family. Then we started talking about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie that we had seen at the drive-in theaters two years ago. She starts saying how Tommy, the white ranger is sooo cute, yadda, yadda, yadda. So then I proceeded to talking about how Tommy was not as cute as Kimberly, the pink ranger, she’s da bomb! So then shorty hits me with an “as if” seeming offensive now. She has the audacity to say that Tommy is better than me because he is always being heroic and what not meanwhile I’m lazy and don’t do anything.
So whatever, she’s trippin’ big time and it bothered me cuz she’s always nagging about SOMETHING, even while we’re in nature trying to mellow out and all that. I felt dissed but it’s cool. So I grab my cassette player, tell her my bad, and that I’m going to walk our dog, Coyote, for a bit just to get away from her for a minute. My plan worked, wickeddd. Everything is cool vibes and I’m walking for like 30 minutes through this trail Coyote was pulling me down. Then I see this wavy bro with this gnarly hat that looks like Raiden’s from Mortal Kombat. Turn’s out he’s a park ranger for Yosemite National Park! The bro is like totally 29 but looks like a young pup. Said his name was John Muir and that he knew the park like the back of his hand. Great vibes I felt from ’em. John Muir then takes out a cigarette pack full of joints and offers me one. Man, this dude is way more dope than shorty back at camp. She could totally use a joint to calm that damn attitude. So we’re chiefing now and I go ahead and offer him a listen to N.W.A’s cassette on my cassette player. He was totally vibing to it even though he didn’t really know what it meant.
John Muir then asks me if I could be a bro and help him carry a keg up the trail. He said some other ranger buddies of his met up there on Fridays to sip some brews so I was definitely down. I would just tell shorty later on that Coyote ran away and that I was looking for him. We get to this dope opening that overlooks the entire valley, mindblown… There are a bunch of his buddies with those wicked hats just chilling kinda awkwardly but whatever, I have the honors of doing the first keg stand… and that’s the last thing I remember. When I woke up, I was by myself. I had no idea where Coyote was and my cassette player was missing and I had this dinky vinyl player. How the heck am I going to play music on that? When I get back to the camp I see these frickin’ kids on these boards that are hovering! What kind of witchcraft is that!? They ask me why I am so dirty and I told them I was raging hard– they were cool dudes. I asked them what they thought about the Power Rangers movie since I wanted to get my mind off of those sorcery hovering board things. They said it was ok, but thought the CGI was kind of bland and thought it would have been better if their phone screens were bigger.
I start laughing because there is no way someone can watch a movie on a dial phone. The kid starts getting sassy, so I start to argue with him. I pushed him like a good 20 feet before his brother stepped in. That kid sure had an attitude for a 7 year old… The brother proceeds to taking out this piece of plastic from his pocket and SHOWS ME THE MOVIE! This is DEFINITELY witchcraft. The older brother then mentions something about the Wi-Fi being spotty up in the mountains so the video is not going to stream in HD which is such a pain because he is used to 4g. I had no idea what this kid was saying and I was at a loss for words. He told me the phone was the 2017 Samsung galaxy! I flipped– 2017?! I Started running hysterically down the road as I could not believe anything– and then this car that makes no noise (a Tesla) with a driver that was texting, hit me. Dead.
There are various reasons for me wanting to write this particular parody. The first is that the era resonates with my childhood. I was born in 1992, so I have slight memory on what occurred in 1997ish time. I am somewhat older than most of my classmates, so I can write with faint tones of humor that would usually only be appreciated from someone that lived through the 1990’s. With Washington Irving’s story, there is the gap where he sleeps for 20 years. With that gap, I felt a lot has changed in our present day, 2017, to 1997. That is why I am fond of what I am writing. I try to capture the retro-modern depiction of a college “bro”. I felt my voice spoke through the writing more as this creative writing allowed me to express my humor more in comparison to other analytical readings we have needed to do. I tied in to what would interest my friends or classmates if they were to read it.
The additional significance is with the finer details used in the writing. I made sure to tie in obsolete things like walkmans or cassette players or in our modern things like hoverboards and smartphones and how we are practically dead without Wi-Fi. The other neat thing is that they did a remake of the original Power Rangers movie that came out in 1995, so I was able to compare that to the one that just came out in 2017.
A Tesla is something that represents how we have changed what a car can be. I tie in the fact that a driver was texting as humor although it is a serious issue our country and many around the world face. I hope that with the humor, readers are in agreement that texting while driving is a very dangerous act.
Lastly, I use my deep love from my older cousins to inspire me. Most of them are in their early-late 30’s. I have always looked up to them since I was young and so their slang and ways would influence how I behaved. Most younger people tend to look up to someone older than them that is still cool. As a result, I use a lot of 90’s slang, especially in the first paragraph. Another fine detail I use, is John Muir. He was considered one of the first explorers of Yosemite National Park. Of course, by 1997, John Muir has long passed. The intent for making John Muir alive in the story is that he is supposed to be a ghost or legend similar to when Rip encountered what would be Henry Hudson and the Dutch-dressed men, when trekking through the mountains.